stop trying to be authentic

“The biggest mistake people make when trying to be authentic is just that: they try. They see these role models of what an “authentic” person is supposed to look like or act like, and they try to emulate that.Authenticity isn’t about what things appear to be. It’s about allowing things to be what they are. Authenticity is about getting away from hiding, from wearing a mask, from always asking, “How should I act? What should I say? What will people think?” That includes asking, “How should an authentic person act? What would a genuine person say?” Being authentic isn’t about making yourself a certain way. It’s not even about finding out what you “really” enjoy as opposed to what other people enjoy, or who you “really” are as opposed to who other people are. Authenticity is allowing your likes, dislikes, personality, appearance, hobbies, and beliefs to be fluid, to change, to evolve as you learn, grow, and experience the world.
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At its core, authenticity is the practice of surrendering the tiresome task of keeping up appearances and taking up of the lifetime work of allowing what is already within you to come out while you remove as many internal and external obstacles as possible.And who knows what will spill out of you if you just allow it to?
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Who knows what is within you awaiting recognition, awaiting permission to show itself to the world? Even you don’t know—until you try. Or, rather, until you stop trying. Until you become curious.”

– By Vironika Tugaleva, award winning poet, author. https://www.vironika.org/books/
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This time of pandemic has been interesting because for many women our appearance and all we do to maintain it has taken a hit. Because of stay at home orders we can’t get our lashes done, face done, nails done, hair colored. So here we are with our real selves, the way we actually look.

There has never been a better time to make peace with trying to appear a certain way, and instead just show up as your True Self. If not now, when?


Personally I am loving that we can’t even try as hard as usual because no one is allowed to meet their normal team of people. It also makes me really grateful that my Mum never taught me to use makeup so I’ve been au natural my entire life. Today is no different.

MY STORY WITH ALTERING MY TRUE SELF: To be honest I did get my lashes done in Bali three times. By the end of the cycle my regular lashes almost all fell out or broke. So the result was worse than before. Actually the starting point was beautiful I made it worse by messing with nature.

I did that same thing before (making it worse) when for a photoshoot 3 years ago I got hair extensions for $500 when living in Santa Cruz, California and they so ruined my hair when the stylist back combed and pulled them out forcibly that my hair broke. It has never been the same since. I will never do that to my hair again.

The impact of getting gel nails 3-4 times in Bali in the last eighteen months was my nails got brittle and see through. Plus I realize I was eating a high vibration vegan diet, living consciously but then allowing serious chemicals to be put on my nails. Why would I poison myself in this way when I work so hard to stay clean in every other respect? It didn’t make sense so no more of that nonsense!

So you see I’ve had my experiences just like you and right now I prefer to stay as true as I can to the real me. I hope you will do. Remember you are beautiful the way you are.

Check out her poetry THE SHADES OF MISSING YOU and THE ART OF TALKING TO YOURSELF
Don’t forget this is #poetrymonth


Photo by @lokasi_photo #canggu Bali

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