30 DAY SELF-CARE CALENDAR

Loving Reminder: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Put self-care first

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Delayed gratification response

Oops I did it again!
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I owned this fancy dress for 4 years and was “saving it” until either the occasion felt good enough or I felt like I was good enough to wear it.
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It looked like the garden paintings by Claude Monet.
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Here’s what I’ve learned about this “delayed gratification” response… colonized mindset teaches us this is always a Good Thing.
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Colonizers consider it a skill along the lines of self-control, willpower, impulse control which are involved in self-regulation.
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For me as immigrant as part of my intersectional identities it’s a trauma response.
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Western psychology tells us our primary purpose for seeking rewards is pleasure. Pleasure motivates humans.
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Prolonged stress endurance constructs our perception of reward and reward value. As a result I can see when I am under long time stress I hold back rewards.
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But what I know is that this construct can be unlearned.
Conditions on rewards are not a recipe for happiness when it’s nonstop.
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I deserve to wear this dress with no conditions to be met.
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This is my 2021 Birthday Dress.
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And #FreeBritney

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Hi love, I’m Silvia!

I’m a specialist in starting over. 

Trauma revealed truths that took me to some faraway places for healing and wisdom. In Bali, South America, New Zealand, Australia, Laos, Hawaii and Malaysia, I soaked it up, took bold actions, and expanded what was possible for me.

Through all of this I learned something profound; the power of resiliency can be taught and even making a 5% change can change the future dramatically.

Now I teach women like you to access the power within you to change your life, celebrate your genius and start over to create any life you dare to dream.