Accepting abuse from men

“I am someone’s daughter, too,” she said. “My father, thankfully, is not alive to see how Mr. Yoho treated his daughter. My mother got to see Mr. Yoho’s disrespect on the floor of this House toward me on television, and I am here because I have to show my parents that I am their daughter and that they did not raise me to accept abuse from men.” #aoc #alexandriaocasiocortez

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I’m triggered.

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I realize my parents also taught me not to accept abuse from men and my Father, like hers, has also passed away.

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I learned this and yet I have allowed myself to be abused by men my whole adult life starting at 17 years old, senior year in high school.

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I’ve been abused by my male best friend from high school, the brother of my college sweetheart, the guy in the band during senior year of university, my ex-husband, my partner of 8 years in Seattle, the man I fell in love with in Santa Cruz to mention the highlights.

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As a Brown immigrant in the United States I’ve grown up scared of privileged white men.

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Being called names was the start of permitting men to abuse me. Then from there it got worse, way worse.

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To you it may not seem like a big deal. The every day casual degradation in my corporate days was “normal.” Why didn’t I say something? I’m Brown.

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Misogynist verbal abuse is better than racist verbal abuse.

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HOW MESSED UP IS THAT?

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But that’s how I’ve felt. If I fight back then he will turn more ugly.

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I’m never not on SURVIVAL mode in the U.S.

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What I want is a world where little girls today won’t grow up having to deal with this same toxic masculinity.

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If you are my sister, I hope you know you’re not alone.

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If you are my brother, please stand up for your daughters, sisters, partners, and Mothers.